"Be careful to leave your sons (daughters) well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant." - Epictetus
Each generation wants their kids to have a better life than they had. My parents worked hard and sacrificed a lot to give my sisters and me a better life. I too want to shield my daughter from adversity, gift the best education and sometimes buy her cool stuff but I instinctively know that this is not always the best for her.
Successful people rarely say they were successful because of their 'privilege' or 'easy upbringing' but rather because they did it tough and persevered. They learnt determination and toughness builds character and is largely forged in the fires of adversity.
How many times have you seen a child of a wealthy family go off the rails? They have all the money and opportunities us mere mortals could only dream of. Yet all too often they end up lazy, self-centred, unreliable and entitled. At best, having it too easy dulls kids' drive and ambition.
Too often I have seen parents "giving their kids a better life" by providing money or things purchased with money in the place of investing in quality time and imparting wisdom. They want to make their kids' lives easier, more fun, less hard work and with fewer hard lessons.
Nicer clothes, better schools, better toys, overseas holidays, bigger houses and they work themselves to the bone and sacrifice quality family time to afford them. I hear them say "I am doing this for my kids".
I worked like a madman and sacrificed so much quality time with my daughter in the first four years of her life. I fell into the trap of mistakenly convincing myself I was doing it all for her and I'd make it up later.
But when reflect on my own life so far, it wasn't money or material things that made me into the person I am today, it was the time and wisdom my family invested in me.
I didn't really realise it at the time but growing up we had very little spare money. We did miss out on some material things compared to friends, but my family took the time to instruct me the best they could.
It was fencing with my grandfather and talking with him about life and being smart with your money. It was the laughter and the occasional 'clip under the ear' he gave me for being a 'smart mouth'. It was the strong work ethic my Dad taught me especially during the school and university holidays. It was Mum demonstrating how to be curious and prompting me to get a 'financial education' and not be 'like them'.
I believe we should all keep in mind Epictetus' words, because when you leave this earth the wisdom you impart on your kids and grandkids will yield far more dividends than money alone.
