MUMS - what a great invention.
There's nothing they can't do.
Country mums, the ones in regional and rural areas, seem to be able to do all that and a bit more again.
From the paddock to the pantry, the school run to the shearing shed, the tuckshop to the tractor, the saleyards to swimming lessons: country mums are as adaptable as they are knowledgeable.
This Mother's Day, in a tribute to the mums of the bush right across this fine land, here's our list of how you know you've got (or had or are) a country mum.
What would you add?
You know you've got a country mum if...
1. She has a sixth sense the irrigation pump hasn't started and knows how to do it without a torch.
2. A "good drop" is a comment on rain, not a fine red.
3. A night out means taking dinner out to the harvester drivers.
4. Her idea of fast food is the "fast" setting on the Crock Pot.
5. Half her Tupperware collection is located in the sandpit.
6. She has a tried and tested McCall's pattern for making pyjamas and skirts.
7. The term "wooden spoon" invoked more fear of discipline than anticipation of a fresh cake.
8. She's even gone to the doctor on behalf of her husband who is too busy.
9. She'll rescue and care for the smallest orphaned bird, but will load up the .303 and blow away a wild dog without hesitation.
10. She has warned of dire consequences should anyone use the "good scissors".
11. The kids left home years ago but she's still cooking for six.
12. She has perfected the art of crying on the inside at a boarding school farewell because she knows it won't help anyone.
13. She ever slaved over the "jelly swimming pool" cake from p23 of the Women's Weekly Children's Birthday Cake book.
14. She owns a seemingly bottomless handbag full of toys, tissues, notes, wipes, crayons, keys, snacks and maybe her hairbrush if there's room.
15. She knows castration bands make ideal replacement Matchbox car tyres.
16. She considers Blundstones a brand of sports shoe.
17. Within thousands of acres of drought bare paddocks, she holds to the hope that stems from a single, highly cared-for geranium in the garden.
18. She gets her hair cut short to save on water.
19. She has nobly inherited the family cutlery set and the good china, neither of which must ever be used.
20. She knows a box of Cadbury Roses is as close as she may get to fresh flowers this year.
21. She knows off the top of her head what's for dinner five days out and where the ingredients are sitting in the deep freeze.
22. She's used the shovel more for dealing with snakes than pottering in the garden.
23. You were ever asked to "go pick a switch".
24. She's driven a ute, tractor, header and sedan all in the same day.
25. It took you longer to put your socks on than it did for her to rip through her make-up routine.
26. She was too busy actually driving the car to be bothered putting one of those Mum's Taxi stickers on it.
27. She owned a CWA Cookbook but generally went back to the same four recipes.
28. Lasagne was as exotic as it got.
29. She knows the farm's profit and loss figures for the past three years, as well as where the Band-Aids, footy boots and hair ties are.
30. Tuckshop arms or not, she gives the best hugs.
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