A GROUP of unsung heroes emerge at about this time of year - bush Santas. Not the cattle breed, but the festive, cheer-spreading men in red and white who don beards and floppy hats to bring illuminated smiles to the faces of youngsters.
Here's a prime example from the recent Barcaldine races. Poor Santa was nearly expiring as the temperature rose but he powered on. He was able to dress down a little bit and wear his pluggers - some good thinking there.
The role of the bush Santa is so far removed from the city Santas who sit in specially designed chairs in air-conditioned shopping centres.
Bush Santas need to be ready to pull on the itchy beard for a multitude of occasions - the Christmas street parade, the end-of-year school concert, the station staff work party, or the playgroup appearance.
One can only imagine the extra heat generated from pillow-cushioning and black gumboots at any point during a summer's day.
If you've got a pic of a bush Santa doing a good job, send it in and we'll put it on social media with the #BushSanta tag.
A clock on top
IF you were driving in the Brisbane area last weekend, you may have wondered what was in the box. That would be, the cardboard box strapped to the roof-racks on top of a four-wheel drive, navigated by the Ringer.
Long story short, the Ringer's father-in-law found a place that sells grandfather clocks for $169. That's right - $169; not the $3000 - $5000 usually on the price tags of jewellers or clockmakers' pieces.
Admittedly, the clock was imported from China and made from medium-density fibreboard (MDF) but it's been done up to look the genuine article. You wouldn't know from a distance.
Anyway, upon navigating the back blocks of Browns Plains, the importer was found, clock purchased, and then roped to the roof (still in the box) once it was discovered it was too long to fit inside the vehicle.
The drive home became a lesson in concentration, with one eye on the spaghetti of roads that is Brisbane traffic, and the other on the darkening sky with promises of rain and even hail on the way. Thankfully, all ended well. Not sure that MDF responds too well to moisture.
A wave of heat and snow
WHAT a land of extremes this Australia is. Bushfires, heatwaves and hail storms for some states, while Tasmania experiences snow.
If an overseas visitor was asking what to pack, you'd need to see a detailed description of his or her itinerary, just to map out the clothes selections.
Ed not picking up the clippers
THE Ringer was a bit red-faced when he arrived in Brisbane last weekend. He'd gone to see a wool demonstration that was meant to be happening at Suncorp Stadium.
Sounded like a pretty big do to be held there, so he was keen to see what this advertised expert "Ed", had to show that the Ringer didn't already know about sheep. Turns out, it wasn't Ed shearin' at all - just some blood-nut and a guitar named Ed Sheeran.
The Ringer would be amused to see a pic of Sheeran shearing though.
Saleyard pies
THE weather is getting a bit warm for hot food but the Ringer was still wondering - which saleyards in the state have the best meat pies? Do any of them make them from scratch?
Most have a canteen and the meat pie seems to be a staple, but is it any better than what you'd pull out of the freezer at home and "bing" in the microwave?
Considering the yards are selling the raw product, it would make sense if saleyards had some premium end product on offer. Let us know if you think your local saleyards has the best meat pie and why. A pic of someone hooking into one wouldn't go astray either.
An incidental side question might also be: do they charge you for sauce?
Painting like Humpty Dumpty
THERE is probably a book out there already (or one waiting to be written) about home renovation disasters. The Ringer would love to hear from you if you've got a cracker home reno story.
A mild but amusing one to start things off comes from the retired father of a mate who was helping one of the sons with some painting.
With no suitable planks or trestles provided, the helper managed to find two step ladders and some decking timber to use as a makeshift scaffold. Understandably, things went sour and the poor bloke tumbled off to meet the ground.
Adding to the story was the later revelation about his footwear of choice - not a sturdy pair of steel-caps or even some sure-footed joggers. No, it was a pair of those foam-rubber Crocs which failed to provide the grip required.
Not enough speed
AIRPORTS are busy places and once the excitement of seeing a plane out the window wears off, they can become pretty boring places for kids.
There are suitcases these days that also double as a seat for kids. Some have wheels and a long "leash" so could essentially be used as a small toddler's bike.
The Ringer was in transit the other week but got a good laugh out of a brief scenario at the Brisbane airport.
A mother, loaded to the hilt with bags and trying to negotiate which gate to get to next, was being followed by a her young daughter with one of these kids' suitcases on wheels. The daughter plopped herself on the bag while the mother took hold of the leash and pulled her along.
It was a commendable physical effort but one not appreciated by the youngster who proceeded to cry out: "Faster Mummy, faster!"
